I.do.not.like.to.shop.

I am, like, the antithesis of the typical American female.  I mean, what kind of woman doesn't like shopping?  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the finer things in life, but I like my version of shopping, ie: I like shopping when I know just exactly what I'm looking for and I like shopping online.  It's one of those in-and-out kind of deals.  

Besides being the weirdo that doesn't enjoy spending my weekends perusing the boutiques, I am also one of those annoying people that the retail stores see and then bar me from ever coming back...I buy something fabulous and then return it the next day out of guilt... "I don't need this,"  or "Ooh, this money could be used to buy more lululemon stock," or "Hmm, maybe I could put this is a low yield no risk bond."  See, I am just so on-the-edge-of-your-seat riveting with excitement.

So, when I started college in the hey-day beginnings of online shopping, you would think I just went crazy with buying clothes, bags, headbands and every other ridiculous accessory available to mankind.  But I didn't.  Something held me back.  Maybe it was because I had such great parents and older sisters who warned me about the guys selling tee shirts in exchange for credit cards near the campus bookstore.  Nevertheless, I managed to escape college without overloading myself with umpteen million clothes and shoes...I didn't need online shopping...

Until.  

Mike and I moved to an area that didn't necessarily have all my favorite stores, and the ones they do have, they are small and don't carry everything shown in the catalogs (Hello, that is just plain mean!).  Enter online entertainment, er, I mean, shopping for needed items.  J Crew is completely necessary to make it through every day life, right?  Riiight.

In all actuality, I don't order too many things, but the UPS man does make a visit to our door frequently because of client orders and albums, etc and boy, am I excited to see that guy when he hops off his truck.  It's so exciting to view new prints and canvases and albums, so most of the time I'm already at door when I hear his brakes squeal.

I think my UPS man may be is scared of me.

Between my twenty questions and the 80 pound furry faux ferociousness of Bear that barks and howls at our UPS man, no wonder he has started to throw my boxes from the sidewalk.

"Hey Jerry!  How are you?  Oooh, is that a Simply Canvas box?  I am just so excited...um, can you please be more gentle with my packages?!  Did I tell you that I did a photo shoot last week of the cutest two year old?  So, sounds like you need to get your brakes checked and your timing belt is screeching.  Hey, did I mention how cool your uniforms are?  Hey, well, have a great day!"  (as he is peeling out of the neighborhood)

Sooo, to make a long story short (kinda my infamous little thing), my mom ordered a Nook for me as one of my Christmas gifts.  I guess she got my not-so-subtle hint a few months ago (thanks, mom!). I read like a fiend so I have been so excited about this package and when my mom told me at Christmas that she bought it for me, but it wasnt shipping until early February, I just didn't know if i could make it.  

Then, finally, last week I received my UPS tracking "your package has shipped," email.  I swear, I've checked the tracking on this thing about 20 times a day, as if checking it more often would magically make it appear on my doorstep.  The first thing I did Tuesday morning was wake up and no, I didn't kiss my husband good morning, no I didnt pat my sweet dog on the head and no, I didnt even put in my contacts...I blindly stumbled downstairs to grab my laptop and check my shipping status... "YEESSS!" I shrieked..."IT'S OUT FOR DELIVERY"...as if Mike and Bear even cared!

Later that day, Mike and I go for a leisurely run around the neighborhood at twilight...every car passing, every brake tapping had me turning to see if the UPS man had entered the neighborhood yet, nope...still no sign of Jerry.

Once we reached home, I bounded upstairs to take a shower...then, all of a sudden, Bear starts flippin' out...barking til the cows come home style...I knew it, my nook had arrived!   I literally jumped out of the shower with shampoo still in my hair, hollering down the stairs to Mike "Is my nook here, well, is it?!"  

He's quiet and then he finally answers, "No sweetie, he didn't drop it off."  "WHATTTT?"  I'm sure every single house in the entire city heard me.  Then I hear snorting...then I hear full on uncontrolled laughter...Mike says "Hehe, no it's here."

Say no more...I can rinse my hair later.

LOOK HOW PRETTY!

So, yeah, I'm a little excited!

Happy Hump Day!